What Does "Self-Care" Look Like?

Self care. To be honest, I cringe when I hear those words. I’m not sure why, but they’ve just always had a negative connotation in my brain. Maybe it’s because when I think of the words self care, I think about the stereotypical things like manicures, getting your hair done, massages, and similar things that I generally don’t enjoy doing. However, in the past few months, I’ve learned that self care doesn’t always mean those stereotypical things I listed above. Self care can look many different ways depending on who you are, what your struggles are, and what you enjoy doing.

At different stages of my life, self care has looked very different. I’ve never been very good at it, or what I perceived it as being, but as I've learned more, I've realized that self care can be pretty simple and easy if you are willing to listen to your body. For me, it can be as simple as laying in my hammock in my backyard or taking Rocky for a walk. I'm still really bad at it, but I'm slowly starting to realize that it doesn't have to cost money or involve going anywhere, it's as simple (or hard in my case) as listening to your body and giving it what it needs.

Just a few days ago, I was freaking out about a big decision and was all worked up. I know how I get when I get worked up like that, and instead of just letting it play out like I normally do, I stopped, looked at the situation, and decided to change the current crash course that I was on. For me in that moment, self care looked like laying on my back on my living room floor in savasana yoga pose, focusing on my breathing as Rocky kept trying to lick my face, and staying there until I had calmed down enough to think straight about the situation and make a productive, coherent decision. A few months ago, I would have kept buzzing out of control, working myself up more and more until I was unable to even put two coherent thoughts together. Instead, I practiced self care and calmed myself down the breathing that I have preached to my students the past few months. It sounds small and insignificant, but reflecting back on it, it was a huge victory for me. As I was laying there, staring at my ceiling, willing my heart to stop racing, I realized that self care in that moment didn’t look like taking a bubble bath or going for a walk or getting a manicure or massage. Self care looked like lying on my living floor all alone and comforting myself. Small victories.

Since then, the past few days, the idea of self care has been popping into my mind a lot. What I used to think it looked like, and what I’ve been learning it really looks like and how it can be so drastically different depending on the person and the situation. I also reflected back upon my Ingredient for Joy & Meaning List I posted a couple of months ago. If you haven’t read it, I encourage you to go back and check it out. For those of you that need a refresher, it’s an idea I got from one of Brene Brown’s books. It’s things that I need in my life and need to be doing to be the healthiest, happiest version of myself.

As I looked back upon that list, I realized that I have strayed pretty far from some of the things that I deemed essential for my life. Looking back on the list solidified my concerns, but I have learned enough about myself, my behaviors, and my patterns to realize that I’ve been feeling pretty unbalanced for awhile now. In the past, I would just ignore these signs and symptoms of an unhealthy and unhappy life. I would go into denial mode, talk myself into the fact that things were fine, ignore what was going on, and hope for the best. Well, I’ve walked that path and tried that option, and you can probably guess, it doesn’t work out very well. So instead, I decided that I’m going to be proactive and get myself back on track instead of letting myself get into crisis mode and being reactive. I’m going to try this out, and I have a feeling it will turn out a lot better than the denial/reactive path I’ve chosen in the past.

With that being said, part of getting back on track and rebalancing my life is going to be taking a break from blogging. I have loved the past couple of months, I’ve enjoyed sharing my life, triumphs and failures with you all, and I want to be able to continue to do that in the future. But I know myself, and the perfectionist/people-pleaser that I am puts a lot of pressure on myself to crank out a “perfect” blog post each week. It’s become a stressor instead of a stress-reliever. I believe to refocus myself, remind myself of my “why’s” for starting this blog (check those out here), and practice SELF CARE, it means taking a blogging break.

I appreciate all of your kind words and your support. I’ve loved hearing your personal stories and how you all have made connections between my experiences and your own. As hard as it has been at times, I’ve enjoyed the freedom to be authentic and have learned SO MUCH through this process.

This is definitely not goodbye to this blog that I’m so very proud of, just a break. I’m looking forward to returning with many new fresh ideas, experiences, reflections and lessons to share with you all.

Until then, I encourage you to invest in the people in your life. See them, notice them, spend time with them, ask the hard questions, and really listen to what they have to say. You never know how a text or phone call, a walk, a card, a letter, a coffee date, or however you choose to invest in people can completely transform someone’s day, or their outlook on life. Really SEE the people in your life. Love on them. And don’t forget to practice self-care and do the same for yourself. You deserve it. 💜