Dear 16 Year Old Me

Dear 16 Year Old Cassie,

Because of a cool app called Timehop, I know exactly what you were thinking on this day twelve years ago in 2007. Luckily (or maybe not?) I’ve noticed that you are quite the sharer on Facebook. Although it does give me a comical, yet cringy, view of what you’re thinking, a little advice from your future self: stop that!! It’s annoying and no one really cares that you’re “at school...and bored” or that you’re “sick of this…”

First, Facebook at school? Really? In the future, you’re a teacher, and you do NOT appreciate the fact that you’re wasting time at school when you could be doing other more productive things than oversharing things that no one cares about, with poor capitalization and grammar I might add. Second, writing things such as, “sick of this…” is very immature. You’re seeking out attention, and the only attention you’re going to get on Facebook is bad attention. That probably seemed pretty harsh, but you have so much going for you and you don’t need to give everyone a play by play on Facebook to be popular, even though it may seem like it right now, ok?

Anyway, let’s get to the real reason I’m writing you. As your future self, I’ve seen a lot of things in the last 12 years. Things that have come about because of the decisions that you are making right now. No, I wouldn’t go back and change anything, but I would like to give you a little encouragement and advice from your now, adult, self.

You are desperately seeking real, true friends right now. The struggle is real, I know this. You’re sixteen and in that tiny high school with the kids that you’ve grown up with since you were four years old. I gotta break it to you, it’s going to be tough for awhile. You do have friends, enjoy your time with them. None of them are going to be your forever friends, though. Many people will come and go throughout your high school (and college) years and that's ok. They all play a part, teach you lessons, and give you memories, both good and bad. Enjoy each one while they are in your life, but let them go. The forever ones will come in time.

You feel like you’re living in a bubble right now, under your own personal magnifying glass within your community. Unfortunately, you’re right about that. With the positions that your dad holds as coach and school board member, there are people out there that want to see you mess up, and fail. You put a lot of pressure on yourself to be perfect already, and this isn’t helping. It’s going to make things pretty hard. But you can do it! You get through it, not without some bumps and bruises along the way, but I promise that you survive. I know it sucks, but lighten up a little and try to have some fun, it’s not going to hurt you.

You’re going to stress about where to go to college and what to be when you “grow up.” You’re going to bounce between several possibilities like therapist and speech pathologist before you finally decide on education. It’s a good choice for you. The college that you choose will fit you just right, and guess what? You will even get to achieve your dream of playing college basketball! It may not be for the Cyclones, but you will be sporting red and gold on your jersey. Your hard work and hours in the gym will pay off! Keep working hard!

The college you choose will teach you more lessons than just how to be a good teacher, even though it does a very good job at that too. You will make many good memories that will stick with you forever. However, take it from me, don’t get so caught up in your grades and rules that you don’t have any fun. Go live a little! You will regret it if you don’t. Leaving home and going to college will be scary, and you will be terrified, but it will all be ok.

Now, on to your brothers. Even though they drive you crazy at times, I know that you actually think they're pretty cool already. Get this though: they get even cooler. Schy is married now and he gets married to one of your best friends. I know, sounds like a movie, right?! They have a baby (he’s PERFECT!) and being an aunt is more amazing than you can even dream about right now. Let your future nephew motivate you through the tough times, because he is coming and it’s an incredible feeling. As for Gabe, even though he may just be a little fifth grader right now, he ends up being your rock through some pretty tough times. So even though he can be annoying, he’s going to be super patient with you in the future, so give him so patience now, alright?

I know it’s hard for you to trust people, you’re still that way now. There will be people that come into your life, push themselves into your life really, and they are going to finally earn your trust. This is a good step. Trusting people. However, your heart is going to get broken. Several times actually, but it’s really going to get crushed this one time. You won’t see it coming, and it will feel like your fault. You’re also going to feel like you can’t trust anyone ever again. You’re going to feel guilty, betrayed, confused, and very alone. It’s going to hurt a lot. You end up doing what is right for you in the end, even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Over time, I've learned that the ones that hurt you the most, teach you the biggest lessons, and this one definitely does. Tough lessons, but important ones. Push through. You’ll feel defeated for a long while on this one, but not everyone you let in will hurt you like that.

I hate to break it to you, but you’re going to end up back at home for awhile after college. It’s the last thing you want to hear right now, I know, but it’s really the best thing that could have happened to you. You’re going to graduate college, look everywhere EXCEPT HOME for a job, and end up with a job at home anyway. At first you’re not happy about it, but you meet (and rediscover) the most amazing people there and they teach you what it means to be a good teacher. They also end up being some of your closest friends. Working at the school you grew up in forces you to grow, a lot, and even though it’s very hard at times, the struggles mold you into the teacher (and person) that you are today. Try not to stress about this, I know from where you’re sitting at 16 years old, this sounds like very bad news. For awhile, I agreed with you, but I promise it all ends up ok.

You’re going to be an occasional church goer at best for awhile. You will stop going altogether, then go sporadically. You’re going to feel like God has abandoned you, especially when your world is at its darkest. Spoiler alert though...He doesn’t go anywhere. All the pain you feel, all the lonely moments and the frustration, He’s making all things work together for your good. It won’t seem like it, but it’s true. Even though you leave Him for awhile, He never leaves you.

This year has been tough for you. I know that you pretty much hate your life right now. I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t get a whole lot better, not for awhile. You get a minor reprieve in college, but life is going to be a struggle for you throughout your teens and twenties. I know that things look pretty dark. You’re going to want to give up, a couple times in a serious way. But listen to me! Please don’t give up on this life! It is crazy, and messy, and chaotic, and lonely at times, but it is SO beautiful and SO worth it! You just need to give it a chance. Giving up is not an option. Reach out for help, there are people around you that love you and are in your corner. And you know what, they remain there. When you turn your back on them (yeah, unfortunately you do that for awhile), they are going to stick around and be there for you. I guarantee you that you can look around at the people in your life, especially the adults that you look up to and count on, they’re going to stick around for you. So even though you feel pretty alone right now, and will at several times in the next twelve years, you’re not and you never will be.

Other advice & fun facts that you will appreciate:

• You may think that “The Office” is stupid right now, but you will grow to appreciate it (and love it) in the future. You may or may not be listening to it in the background right now...

• I know you’re not a fan even now, but Crocs are back! Your future students all of a sudden started wearing them and somehow, they are “cool” again (and you’re still not a fan).

• That new social media platform, Twitter, will be a big deal. But you won’t jump on board until college. Which I would say is ok, looking at how you abuse your Facebook privileges already.

• That guy you like right now? Sorry to break it to you, it doesn’t work out. It’s for the best though...believe me!

• Try harder in Spanish! I know it’s hard, but you’re going to wish you paid more attention when you want to minor in Spanish in college and realize that you just don’t know enough. So work on that! As a teacher, you could really use some conversational Spanish skills.

• You don’t get the Jesus fish tattoo that you think you really want right now, but you will get some pretty cool ones. No, dad doesn’t get mad at you, in fact, he and mom both get one with you! Shocking, I know! Don’t use it against him now though, it probably won’t go over well and I'm sure he won't believe you anyway.

• You’re going to make amazing friends from all over the country (and world) and guess what? You’re going to be able to video chat with them any time you want, all from your cell phone. Sounds all future-y but it’s true, and it’s pretty awesome.

I hope that this letter gives you some encouragement, I know that’s what you’re searching for right now. You will do a lot of searching for many things in the next twelve years, believe me on that. Just know though, that no matter how bad things seem or how dark the world looks, you’re never alone and everything is going to be ok. You are intelligent, kind, and oh so loyal--all things that will be your downfall at one time or another, but they are things that make you, you. Even though you don’t really like “you” very much right now, you’re going to turn out alright.

I would tell you to go do your homework, but I know that you’re already done with that. So turn off “How To Save A Life" by the Fray, shut your laptop, open the door of your room, stop isolating and go downstairs to hang out with your family. They’re really not so bad. And remember, don’t give up! No matter what! This life has amazing things in store for you, you just need to wait and see. ❤️

With So Much Love,

Your Future Self