I’ve referred to my One Word Resolutions a lot in my previous posts on here and on Facebook, and also in my daily life in conversations with people. I wanted to give you all a little more insight into my One Word journey. I’ve been making One Word Resolutions since 2016. My former principal introduced the idea and challenged our whole staff to make one that year. At that time, I had never heard of a One Word Resolution and had no idea the impact they would have on my life.
The One Word movement was invented by Dan Britton and Jimmy Page and popularized by the author, Jon Gordon. His book written along with Britton and Page, “One Word That Will Change Your Life,” outlines the power of a One Word Resolution, how to choose your One Word, and how to keep it at the forefront of your life throughout that year.
During that staff meeting, she asked us to submit our One Words to her at the end of the meeting and most people did. Many people chose their word that day and then went on with their life, some not even thinking twice about it. However, I felt the gravity of this assignment. Something in me was telling me to take it seriously and I knew that there was no way that I would be able to solidly choose a word, a goal for the WHOLE year in just two hours. So I didn’t submit a word that day, and went home and started thinking. Obsessing may be more like it, but that’s how I usually do things.
I wanted the word to be good. I wanted the word to encompass the hopes and dreams that I had for that year. I didn’t take this lightly. I googled words, wrote lists, prioritized the lists in order of what word I felt most strongly about, added more words, reordered the list and well, you get the picture. This is a glimpse of my obsessive side.
Honestly, I’m not sure how many days it took for me to choose. I still have the word list in the notepad of my phone. Unfortunately, I did not read the book before I chose my word that first year, or I would have realized that it was less about choosing a word and more about the word choosing you. Praying about it, reflecting on it, and just waiting for God to place the word on your heart.
Even though I didn’t pray about it that year, the word I chose was still pretty fitting. I chose SEEK. I plan to go deeper into each word in other posts, but I will summarize my thoughts here. I chose SEEK because I had been feeling this sort of unsettledness, feeling as though I was missing something about my past. At this point, my depression and anxiety were worsening and I felt that I had to be missing a reason that I was feeling this way. So I chose SEEK. I wanted to seek answers from my past and answers for why I was struggling.
Throughout 2016, I spent months obsessively going through all my old journals, emails, planners, FB messages, and everything else I could get my hands on and making a timeline of the events in my life from when I was in high school, the period of time I pinpointed as the beginning of all my “problems.” I then wrote through each important event in narrative form and put it all together in a sort of a memoir. Through hundreds of hours working on this memoir, I still was lacking answers for why I was feeling the way I was feeling. By the end of 2016, I felt as though I had failed my One Word, but not for lack of trying.
When 2017 rolled around, I didn’t have anyone challenging me to make another One Word Resolution. However, I felt so compelled to focus and follow my SEEK one, I thought it would be beneficial for me to make another. I looked at my life and saw a lot of broken pieces. Again, I did not know that God was supposed to place the word on my heart, and I decided on a word that I’m not sure was the right one for that time of my life. I chose WHOLE, because I wanted to put all my broken pieces together. Did I have a plan for how I would do this? No, not even a little bit. But foolishly, I set out to try and do it all on my own. That year, I ended up being hospitalized twice in behavioral health units and had a brief stint in a treatment center outside of Chicago. Needless to say, by the end of the 2017, I was feeling more discouraged than ever. I had “failed” two One Word Resolutions in a row.
By the end of 2017, I finally got smart. I bought Jon Gordon’s book, read it, and formulated a plan for picking the “perfect” One Word Resolution for 2018. This was going to be the year, I thought to myself. As I read through the book, and realized that the word was supposed to come from God, it was one of those facepalm moments. Like, damn, I’ve been doing this wrong all along. So instead of having my word picked before January 1st, I waited. I tried to pray about it. I tried to listen to God. I talked it through with my friends, my family, my therapist. By the second week in January, I still hadn’t chosen. Great, I thought to myself, Not picking any word is even worse than choosing one and failing! After much consideration and back and forths, I decided on the word TRUST over the word hope. With my therapist, I came to the realization that it’s hard to have hope if you don’t trust, so that’s the word I went with. Honestly, I wasn’t sold. I didn’t have that “just right” feeling that I had with others. I spent the large majority of the year staring at the TRUST canvas on my wall, and feeling this overwhelming sense of failure and frustration and shame for not being successful. I wasn’t trusting others, I was isolating. I wasn’t trusting myself, let’s be honest, my track record to that point hadn’t been very good. And I sure as hell wasn't trusting God. I was doing anything and everything that I could to gain control of my life all on my own with no help from Him.
When I arrived at the Ranch, my body and my mind were broken. I was very sick. I was exhausted. I was starving, literally. I could not think straight, I was barely able to function. I had all but given up. I arrived in Arizona a couple of months from death, even though I fiercely argued that point with my treatment team. There was no sign of trust in my life at that point.
After fighting it for most of the 52 days, through adversity, injury, some tough love, and the breaking down of my thick walls I had set around my heart, I left the Ranch feeling as though I had finally fulfilled my One Word. My first successful One Word Resolution, and I gotta say, I did it in pretty dramatic fashion. My time away gave me confidence in myself and in God, and for the first time, I truly listened to His will when it came to my One Word.
STILL was heavily placed on my heart during my time in the desert. One of the last nights on the Ranch I was watching the most gorgeous Arizona sunset and I just felt it. I felt peace. For the first time in a long time, I truly felt like I was going to be ok. It dawned on me that it isn't all about the stuff I fill my life with, it's also about the quiet moments, the reflection, the STILLness. If I had any doubts, God has squashed them by cementing this decision ever since I returned home. He has given me signs through bible verses at church, conversations with people, and the overwhelming sense of peace I have when I think about the word STILL.
Year 4 of One Word Resolutions has commenced, and maybe, just maybe, I’m finally getting the hang of them. Reflecting on all my words, I do strongly agree with Jon Gordon in the fact that they are easier to stick to than regular New Year’s Resolutions. They also encompass more of your life and make it easier to guide your actions and thoughts in the direction of a goal, instead of to a New Year’s Resolution that are often black and white, succeed or fail. On average, only 8-10% of people are successful with their New Year’s resolutions, many people “falling off the wagon” by February. With One Word Resolutions, you can struggle though most of the year and still come out successful, as was my case this past year.
In reality, it’s all about your perspective. In writing this, I realized something. Maybe I hadn’t been failing at my previous words at all. Maybe through all my exploration in 2016, I did succeed in seeking out truth about my life and past. It may not have been what I thought I was looking for, but I did learn a lot. In 2017, I was really discouraged because I didn’t finish the year as “whole” as I wanted to be. But the events of that year, led me to the transformative events of 2018, so maybe God was slowly putting pieces back together for me and I just didn’t know it. In saying all of this, it’s all about perspective. If you really work at it, I don’t think it’s truly possible to actually fail a One Word Resolution.
The past couple of years, I have encouraged my students to make One Word Resolutions as well. They make theirs at the beginning of the school year and then we revisit them around this time of the year. It’s always so interesting to see their process of figuring out their word, making their notecards and hearing their goals. We just reflected on our One Words this week. Yes, some kids forgot the word they chose and some think the whole process is stupid, they are 6th graders after all. However, many kids have embraced this challenge and honestly reflected on their struggles and their triumphs with their words so far this year. The candid conversations and the realizations they make about their life and how they can connect their hopes and dreams with their words make the whole process worth it.
We are just a few days into 2019. Did you set a New Year’s Resolution that you don’t have confidence will make it past this first month? Is it a goal that is black and white, success or failure? Is it something that you really want, but realistically unattainable in your expectations? Or maybe you didn’t create any goals or resolutions this year at all because they’ve never worked for you in the past and you are tired of trying and failing.
Regardless of your journey with New Year’s Resolutions, instead of putting yourself through the frustration and disappointment of falling short or not making any goals at all, I challenge you to create your own One Word. This practice of goal setting has changed my perspective, perhaps it will have the power to change yours, too!
What will be your One Word for 2019?
Thoughtful words to consider. What a creative way to encourage your students to consider their one word resolutions.