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Writer's pictureCassie Bardole

The Marks We Leave On One Another

This past week, I’ve been doing some math. To those of you who know me, this might be shocking because I actually hate math and am horrible at it. Anyhow, I’ve been doing the math of how many students have sat in my classroom during my teaching career. Although my math is not exact, I figured that roughly 630 students have sat in my classroom over the past six and a half years that I have been teaching. 630 human beings that I’ve had the opportunity to leave a mark on. I realize that I’m early in my teaching career, and that there will undoubtedly be more. But even so, that number really got my attention.

I started thinking about this because of a guest speaker that came to our district last week named Kevin Honeycutt. He had loads of thought-provoking, useful things to say but a few of his comments really stood out to me and stuck with me in the days following. One such comment was he mentioned, as teachers, we are “writing on kids with permanent ink.” In his context, he was referring to what kind of lasting impression we were leaving on our students. I thought that this was so profound, and not just from the lens of a teacher.

As I reflect on the roughly 630 faces that have sat in my classroom, I’m in awe of the many lives that I’ve been blessed to be a part of, year to year. While thinking about this number, I realized that I’ve been given the opportunity to write on many, many people with permanent ink and not just my students. I’ve “written” something on every single person that has come into my life. We all have.


Tonight I ask myself the question, what kinds of things am I writing on the people that I’ve come into contact with? What kind of legacy am I leaving behind me as I continue on this journey called life? As I sit and think about this, I know what I WANT the answer to be. I want the people I interact with to feel seen, heard, and appreciated. I want people to feel like I care about them and what happens to them. I want people to believe that I have their best interests at heart and that I would help them if they needed it. I want people to feel like they are special and important because of the way that I treat them. I want people to see me as trustworthy and honest and loyal. Most of all, I want to leave people better than how I found them.

In saying all of this, I also realize that I’m human. I know for a fact that there have been people I’ve interacted with that didn’t get these feelings after interacting with me for whatever reason. I realize that I’ve said and done hurtful things. I realize that I’ve been self absorbed and selfish at times. I realize that I haven’t truly seen people or appreciated people for who they truly are. Sadly, I realize that not every mark I’ve left in permanent ink on others has been positive.

But I think that this begs the question, “How responsible are we for the people around us?” Is it possible for us to just put our heads down, ignore what’s going on around us and only take ownership for ourselves and ourselves alone? Or, as humans, are we responsible for the greater good, including the people that surround us, for better or for worse?

If we’re being honest, there have been times in my life that I’ve wished that I could put my head down and ignore the things going on around me. Admittedly, I’ve lived a lot of my life that way. Thinking that if I was doing the right thing, then that was all that I could do. That I wasn’t responsible for anyone else. Those are times that I wished I could be invisible and disappear, times that I felt as though I had no control over the things going on around me, or within me for that matter. But recently, I’ve come to realize that that isn’t true. In my social studies class, I teach the kids that if there is an injustice being done to someone in the world, that it affects everyone. That it is everyone’s responsibility to stand up and do something if they see something happening that is wrong or cruel or unjust. However, these past few months, I’ve come to realize what that actually means and it doesn’t mean that we can sit there with our heads down and hope things get better. It means that we are all tasked to be better and to influence those around us to be better.

Our actions speak louder than our words. Therefore, the marks we are leaving on each other not only include the words that we speak to one another, but our actions toward each other as well. Do your words match up with your actions, and vice versa? Do you “practice what you preach?” I think that this can sometimes be really difficult. It’s easier to say what you think is right and what you think should be done as compared to doing that right thing in the moment. But each time we do the harder right as compared to the easier wrong, we are leaving a positive mark on those around us that are affected by our decision, in a direct or indirect way.

Although our actions speak loudly, our words are still important. What we say to the people in our lives on a consistent basis are a large part of the mark that we are leaving behind. Jon Gordon, an author and motivational speaker, recently tweeted this list of things that we can stay more often to make the world a more positive place. If you want to mark on someone in a positive way, here are some ideas of how you can do that:

Overall, in my teaching career alone, I’ve touched approximately 630 lives. In my lifetime, I’ve come into contact with thousands and thousands of people, maybe even more than that (again, I’m not super great at math). Some of those people come and go as quickly as you can bat an eye, like someone you pass on the street or hold the door open for at the mall. Others stay in your life for a season, and then fade like some school friends or friends from a past job. Still others come into your life to stay, their roles changing but their presence unwavering. Regardless, as human beings, we have countless opportunities each and every day to mark on people with permanent ink. Depending on how you look at this, this idea could be daunting or exciting or a little bit of both. No matter how you look at it though, we, as humans, have a big responsibility to one another.

What kinds of marks are you leaving on the people around you? What permanent marks are you leaving behind on the people that you meet and the people that you love? Someday, when you’re gone, what legacy are you leaving with your words and your actions in those that have interacted with you? What have you done TODAY to leave a positive mark on someone you have encountered? What is something that you can be intentional about TOMORROW to leave a positive mark?

After all, we are all in this together. The least we can do is make life just a little brighter, a little easier, or a little more safe for those around us with our words and actions.

So this next week and beyond, I encourage you to go out there into the world and mark on someone positively with permanent ink and leave them a little better than how you found them. 💜

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nhanaman
Nov 07, 2019

I am impressed with your writing and your wisdom and insight. Indeed we do write on others in permanent ink and others write on us. I encouraged and discouraged others with my "writing" and have been deeply wounded at times on what was "written on me."

I think of our current political and social climate and hope that we will see others as beloved children of God and not judge on the basis of the color of their skin, ethnic group, sexual identity or political views. May we all write with care.

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