A few months ago, I noticed a new trend on TikTok. Admittedly, I spend entirely too much time scrolling through random TikToks, especially right before bed. I know, I know, not a great idea. But I am going to partially blame it on Quill, because they are the one that got me into TikTok in the first place. 😜 Anyway, as I was scrolling, I became entranced by a trend called #humanmosaic. Every time one would come up, I would watch the whole thing. I just couldn’t scroll past them. I got to a point where I would just search that hashtag, and watch video after video of people sharing their own personal human mosaics. I was so enthralled with not only each individual’s story and the obvious sentimentality and emotion in each video, but the idea that although we are our own people, we are also heavily influenced by the people around us.
The whole premise of the trend is the idea that as humans, we are made up of all the memories, mannerisms, and habits of the people that we’ve interacted with in our lives. Whether that person is still in our life or not, every person that we encounter in this life leaves a mark on us. Throughout all the good, bad, and neutral interactions and memories we have with people who have been in our lives, as humans, we naturally pick up on things that others do or say, and those things help shape us to become who we are.
As I watched all these videos, I started to reflect on the things that I would include in my own #humanmosaic TikTok if I were to make one. Fully aware I would never make one, I realized that it could make a good blog post. So for the past few months since the trend first got popular, I’ve kept a list of my own human mosaic pieces in the notepad of my phone. For me, at first thought, I had a really hard time thinking of things and at first got a little discouraged. But as the days and weeks wore on, I realized that I am very much a product of all the people who have crossed my path in this life.
Here are some of the ways that I’ve become a mosaic of all the people and experiences I’ve encountered in my life…..
I never break pinky swears, because my childhood best friend said that they are sacred and can never be broken
I love giving people handwritten notes and cards because I know how much getting one makes me feel seen, important and loved and I want others to feel that way too.
I end all my prayers with “I love you, Amen” because the Iowa State basketball player who was my idol and mentor growing up would always end her prayers like that
When I see something that is really ugly, I say, “It’s so ugly it’s cute!” because my little cousin Kate said that about roly poly bugs when she was little
I always have a peanut butter sandwich to dip into my chicken noodle soup because that’s how my family would eat it when I was a kid
I greet every kid by name as they come into my classroom because hearing my name makes me feel seen and loved and I want each kid to feel like that when they walk into my classroom each day
I never use a brush to comb my hair because when I was a freshman in high school, the seniors on the basketball team did a “hair intervention” on me and told me that brushes were bad for my hair
I never, ever skip a John Denver song when it comes on because hearing his songs make me think of my grandparents, my dad, and vacations in the mountains
I try to pray for people I encounter, even strangers, because a woman I shared a hospital room with in the behavioral health unit prayed over me one night as I slept even though we hardly knew each other and I’ve never forgotten how powerful that was for me
I undercook my toast because that’s how my grandma would always make it for me when I was a little girl and now I don't like it any other way
I make friendship bracelets for the people I love the most because I know that looking at all the bracelets on my wrists given to me by others makes me think about them and feel loved by them and want my people to feel the same when they wear theirs
Art museums make me happy because they make me think of the time Lauren, Quill and I went to one in Washington D.C., impersonated as many paintings as we could, and almost got kicked out
I never turn down a strawberry banana smoothie because my grandma would always make me a “special one” when I was at her house
If I have to pick a number, I always pick the number 13 because my mom told me it her lucky number, or the number 51 because it was the jersey number of my favorite ISU basketball player
I love the mountains and have always felt like they’re home because my dad loves the mountains and would take us on vacations out west throughout my childhood
Sometimes when I’m really stressed, I sing Christmas songs in my head because my mom would sing them to my siblings and I when we were little every night before we would go to sleep, no matter what time of year it was
I always show students their test and let them hold it in their hands the day before and ask questions because I had a lot of test anxiety as a kid and that would have helped me to feel less anxious
The movie Tangled is my comfort movie because my college roommates and I got obsessed with it and literally played it in our apartment nonstop for a week, and now it just makes me feel good when I watch it
I always remember the Spanish alphabet because my 5th grade teacher taught it to us as she danced around the room and since then, I’ve never forgotten it
Sometimes I called backpacks, "packbacks" because my friend in college said her parents would accidentally call them that and I always thought it was funny
When I’m at a loss as to what to say to God, I do finger prayers because my friend told me it helps you to know what to pray about when you’re having trouble finding the words
I started to listen to show tunes because they’re Quill’s favorite, and they’ve started to become my favorite too
Whenever I see a snake, I pull out my phone to send a snap to my friend because I know she likes snakes and it’s helped me to not be as afraid of them
I let students use fidgets and don’t force them to make eye contact with me because my favorite high school teacher would keep a basketball under her desk for me to dribble while I talked to her because she knew eye contact was hard for me and it helped me to be more honest and feel safer
I never, ever skip the song, “Reckless Love” because I heard it for the first time when I was in a really low place and now it seems to come on whenever I need to hear it and feel safe
Whenever I see the stars, I think about hope and say a little prayer of thanks because a dear friend and I had a heart-to-heart about holding hope for one another under the stars in Arizona and the conversation helped change my life
Seeing turtles makes me happy because they make me think of my brother and how he used to “rescue” them and bring them home all the time when we were younger
Every year, I make a One Word goal because my first principal made us make one in a staff meeting one time and the whole process totally changed my perspective on life
My go-to drink at Starbucks is a White Chocolate Mocha because at State Jazz band when I was a freshman, one of the older girls took me there for the first time and ordered it for me because she said it was the “the best drink there”
I always wear my To Write Love On Her Arms clothes to the airport when I’m traveling because I’ve seen peoples’ faces light up and had good conversations with people in the airport about our TWLOHA gear
Whenever I see someone in trouble on the news, I try to be open-minded to their story because a friend who is one of the strongest, most resilient people that I know, was portrayed unfairly on the news and the story of how she got to that place taught me that we can never know someone’s character or the full story by a simple news story
I always look up a movie on IMDB before I watch it with someone else because my cousin and I rented a movie in high school that we watched with our grandparents and although we laugh about it now, I'll never forget how awkward that experience was
When I’m really anxious and panicking about something, I try to remind myself that “It’s never as bad as it seems” because one of the techs at treatment wrote me a note that said, “Calm the F down, things are never as bad as you think they are” and I’ve never read anything more true
I try to open my curtains and let in the sun because my cousin says it can make your whole day better
I sing “You Are My Sunshine” to Rocky, to my nephews, and to the kids I used to babysit for because my dad always sang it to me when I was a kid and it made me happy
Gosh, I’ve worked on this list for several months and I know there are SO MANY more things that I could add. Reflecting on things I do without thinking now, and where those habits came from has been both fun and insightful for me as I look back on all the people I’ve been blessed to cross paths with in my life.
One of the things I’ve been working on in the past two years or so is the idea that some people are meant to be in your life for only a short season. I’ve learned that although I’m someone that takes a long time to trust someone, once I do trust that person, I’ll be forever loyal to them. It’s one of my best attributes, but also one of the hardest to deal with sometimes. I’ve always struggled with, and to be honest, HATED, the idea that people that you get really connected to, have life-changing experiences with, that have seen deep into your soul may not stay in your life forever. It’s been a hard lesson and something that I still have a more work to do with.
In saying all of that, as much as I hate and struggle with the natural “goodbyes” of life, doing this little human mosaic exercise has provided a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that even though there are people I’ve had to say goodbye to, there are pieces of those people that will always live within me. And for as many people I’ve had to say ‘goodbye’ to, there are so many others that have been and continue to be constants in my life, which I’m eternally grateful for.
Everyone’s a mosaic of people they’ve met before and it’s such a beautiful thing. What makes up your human mosaic?